In the dream, we were at her 2-month pedi appointment for shots...
The oral vaccine, which I know is a liquid, was a pill in the dream, and the nurse put the pill in Val's mouth, and FORCED it shut! My little one was whimpering and crying for me, but they wouldn't let me hold her... Then came the jab in her thigh - they STILL wouldn't let me hold her or comfort her - and she screamed ... and my heart broke for her, and I started crying.
Next, they sat her up and brought out a foot-long needle which they put into her back vertically, like it was going in next to her spine... I fucking woke up crying! I KNOW that's not something she has to get...
My fear of needles is really nothing to laugh at... and it hurts me so much to think that she will have any kind of pain.
Since we're doing an alternate vaccine schedule - which I did check w/her daycare is okay - I don't think we'll NEED the baby Tylenol, but I think we'll have it on hand anyway, just in case. I fully intend to nurse her after the visit, to soothe her.
I'm nervous about that visit. I know my mom hated having to hold me down for shots ... I just want to be able to hold Val so she knows she can always hold on to me, so she knows I'll always be here for her. The only reason I wouldn't want to hold her while she's getting jabbed - I don't want her to feel MY fear, my trepidation, my tears. I'd take away ALL that pain if I could.
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