Happy 2-month birthday, baby girl!

That's right - it's been two months since my beautiful daughter made her appearance in the world. I'm still as enthralled by her as I was on day one...maybe more. I look at her and am in awe. I'm her Mommy... *sigh* and I'm still so in love with her.

Well, today she had her two-month check up and half of her first vaccines - only half. I don't want to overload her system... Rotavirus & DTaP today, the next two before the end of the month...Our pedi is leaving Sadler clinic (apparently, they are not very nice to docs and doc are quitting left & right), and we're following her doc into his private practice - the best part? It's closer to us! His office at Sadler is in Conroe and he's moving to 1960 - woohoo!

The updates - Val is now 22.5" long and 12lbs 5oz! She's growing so much! I carried her up to the office in her sling...she LOVES it, and she's always so relaxed when she's riding in it...except when she's hungry.lol.

She tried spitting out the rotavirus vaccine, but most of it got down. When it was time for the DTaP, I was shocked at the size of the needle. Seriously, I know it has to get into her muscle, but it looked long enough to poke her femur! We told her it would hurt, but that she'd be ok - and she only cried for a few seconds...then Gabe put the bottle back in her mouth - she was hungry and finished the bottle after the shot.

So far, 6 hours after the injection, she's had no side effects...except for being more tired - or at least, craving more closeness. I nursed her and cuddled her after her bottle...and she fell asleep on my chest. I love that so much - it's so comfy having her just lay there, all relaxed.

Two months - seems like a long time in some respects, and in others, like no time at all.

Scary dream about Val

In the dream, we were at her 2-month pedi appointment for shots...

The oral vaccine, which I know is a liquid, was a pill in the dream, and the nurse put the pill in Val's mouth, and FORCED it shut! My little one was whimpering and crying for me, but they wouldn't let me hold her... Then came the jab in her thigh - they STILL wouldn't let me hold her or comfort her - and she screamed ... and my heart broke for her, and I started crying.

Next, they sat her up and brought out a foot-long needle which they put into her back vertically, like it was going in next to her spine... I fucking woke up crying! I KNOW that's not something she has to get...

My fear of needles is really nothing to laugh at... and it hurts me so much to think that she will have any kind of pain.

Since we're doing an alternate vaccine schedule - which I did check w/her daycare is okay - I don't think we'll NEED the baby Tylenol, but I think we'll have it on hand anyway, just in case. I fully intend to nurse her after the visit, to soothe her.

I'm nervous about that visit. I know my mom hated having to hold me down for shots ... I just want to be able to hold Val so she knows she can always hold on to me, so she knows I'll always be here for her. The only reason I wouldn't want to hold her while she's getting jabbed - I don't want her to feel MY fear, my trepidation, my tears. I'd take away ALL that pain if I could.